Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last week on a flight to LA, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). Last Wednesday I put money in outofthinair's expired parking meter (14 points). In November I ruled Asscrackistan as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Last Saturday I set jaded_idealist's puppy on fire (-66 points). In February justgonameless and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). Overall, I've been nice (619 points). For Christmas I deserve a Lego set! Sincerely, moronforsale

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Yay Legos! Though I did seem to leave out some of the more illegal things I did with Dite, but no matter. Santa understands hormones. I mean, come on. If he has to eat all those cookies in compensation, he must really never get laid. Poor old guy. Santa, I'm leaving you Viagra for Christmas this year. I'm sure the cookies will be yummy though. I'll eat them in your name.

Feeling: chipper

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Oh no! I know too much and now Kyle's gonna kill me and give sexy clothing to my wife! ...Or wear them himself. I dunno which is worse.

Feeling: amused
Singing: Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself

The Boy Next Door Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm) Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet. We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what. Your exact opposite: The 5-Night Stand Deliberate Brutal Sex Master On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold. More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not. ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, The Peach Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: moronforsale

...They are completely underestimating my sexgodliness. I think I'm insulted. My horny side works just fine, thankyouverymuch. Ask my pregnant wife. And that picture says nothing to my sexiness. Come on now. Sensitive does not equal ugly.

Besides. I'm Double O Tarzan. And manly as hell. Grr.

Feeling: horny

So I thought I'd do this, just because I haven't updated in what's edging towards a month. The reason being that life's, well, just been life. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary has been happening, but I'm kinda thinking that's a pretty damn good thing. I've been working at my job, spending my nights and time when I'm not making waffles and hash browns with Dite. She's actually doing pretty good lately. Coming up on five months, baby looks fine, and everyone's feeling good.

And that's pretty much it. Gotta admit, while it's not as exciting as life with the high highs and low lows, it's still pretty damn good. We've been working on Bond's room, and it's starting to look quite shiny, if I do say so myself. We decided on an Elvis theme, since Dite thought that going with a baby boy one would be boring and trying a 007 one would just encourage him to be a chauvinistic ass or something. Anyway, we're probably going to be taking a trip out to Graceland again before it's not safe for her to fly anymore to get the appropriate room decor.

Eat waffles and be merry.

Feeling: cheerful

I fixed my links! They're prettyful now.

Feeling: amused

( This thing is seriously bad for my oxygen supply )

Tags: random
Feeling: amused and slightly disturbed

Thank you, thank you very much to the lovely Miss Nell for restoring the glory of me and my paidness to the world.

Feeling: creative
Singing: Benny and Joon

James. Bond James.

Too perfecto. Score one for us.

Feeling: bouncy
Singing: The Big Bopper - Chantilly Lace

Baby, I've got your present of the day up in the Room To Be Named, which shall here on out be called the Sexatorium until you come up with a name. Ha. Incentive.

CIRA. Where the hell have you been all my life? I go on vacation and come home to bad reports? Tsk tsk. Not good, my friend. Don't know if I should even be giving you this souvenir I got you. But I will, because you're my Cira. But you must come get it! Okay otay?

Jordan! You were supposed to clean the dishes! Oh, what's that? You're alergic to the metal of the sink? You'll die? That's horrible. My god. Can't have that. Dite, you better handle it. For the health and safety of your loving husband.

Soy sauce. You freak. You think you can hide from me forever? I. think. NOT. You are in big trouble, young lady woman thing. I know you're out there and hiding. It's that twin mindlink thing that's all creepy like X-files. That's right. So FEEL THE WRATH. ... I want wrath. Foamy gets squirrly wrath. I want waffly wrath. FEEL THE WAFFLY WRATH. And EAT IT. With a FORK... and SYRUP. So it gives you... dun dun dun... AN ACHE IN YOUR ESTOMAGO. Lookit my madass lingual skills of doom. Doooooom... Which reminds me.

Zim... Why, oh why were you canceled? Doooooooooomed. Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doooooooooom! Doom doom doom dooooooom! Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom! Doom! Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom... Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom, doom, doom! Doom doom doom the end.

Feeling: bouncy
Singing: Aquabats - Lovers of Loving Love

( Enough. )

Feeling: contemplative
Singing: John Hiatt - Have a Little Faith in Me